


last to know

by orphan_account



Category: B.A.P
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 02:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10630413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: In which Junhong is the last to know.





	

Junhong groans at the intrusion of sunlight. He does not like mornings. He turns to his right, where Yongguk always is, but the space is empty. He doesn’t know why, but an odd lump forms in his throat and feels as if he’s going to cry. There’s a slow patter of footsteps and he glances towards his door, rewarded with the sight of Yongguk carrying a tray of pancakes and juice. His eyes are fully open now and he sits up, smiling sheepishly at the elder. Yongguk’s smile isn’t as bright and Junhong frowns.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at the studio?” He asks, cutting a piece of the pancake for himself and dousing it in syrup. Junhong liked the sweet things in life.

Yongguk sits at the edge of the bed, shaking his head. “Nah. They can get by without me today.”

Junhong sits up straighter, eyes bright. “Really? Then can we hang out, hyung?” He asks, cutting another piece and offering it to the elder.

Yongguk laughs, declining the pancake. “Sure, Junhongie. What do you want to do?”

Junhong frowns. “I’m not a kid, hyung.”

The smile that is painted on Yongguk’s face is sad. “I know.” But Junhong doesn’t notice and prattles on about how excited he is to spend time with his favorite hyung.

“I wanna watch those war movies with you, hyung. Just like before,” he says, finishing off his plate. The dorm was oddly empty. He isn’t sure where the others went, but he’s glad he gets Yongguk all to himself.

Yongguk nods at the younger, watching the way his face lights up. Junhong is a growing boy the hardships of idol life had already taken a toll. For that, Yongguk felt the most guilty. He wants Junhong to grow and always smile like he is now. Tugging on the elder’s arm, Junhong drags him to the living room, already popping in a dvd. He pulls Yongguk down on the couch with him, clutching to his arm. Yongguk smiles, kissing the top of Junhong’s head before pulling him into his embrace.

Junhong doesn’t notice the lack of warmth.

It’s close to two in the morning when the door to their dorm is thrown open. Junhong looks up in surprise as Jongup enters the living room in a sombre black suit, grabbing him by the neck of his tee shirt. He pushes the younger against the wall, livid. Junhong whimpers. Jongup is never like this. His Jonguppie was all smiles and sweet hugs. But now, the anger radiating for the shorter man’s body sent chills down Junhong’s spine.

Where is Yongguk?

“What the hell, Choi Junhong? You couldn’t even go to his funeral?!”

Junhong looks at him, confused. Funeral? “What funeral, Jonguppie?” Junhong struggles to loosen the grip on his tee shirt, but Jongup is unrelenting. He looks past Jongup, sighing in relief when he spots Yongguk. Yongguk would know. Yongguk knows everything. “What funeral, hyung?”

“His funeral, Junhong. Yongguk's funeral, Junhong. Why weren’t you at Yongguk's funeral?”

Junhong’s mouth falls slack and he laughs nervously. “What are you talking about, Jonguppie. Yongguk hyung isn’t dead.” His eyes move past to lock with Yongguk’s again. “Tell him, hyung. You’re right there.” His back is slammed against the wall again.

“Junhong, he’s gone! He’s gone! You've got to stop this!”

Junhong shakes his head, pushing the elder away with angry tears. “No, he’s right there!” He points at the figure, but Yongguk meets his gaze with a sad smile. No. Nononono. He’s right there. Junhong can see him. Yongguk held him. Junhong knows he’s there.

Jongup sighs, running his hand through his coarse hair.

Junhong crumbles to the floor. No, he’s there. He can feel him. Yongguk is still there. Yongguk is still here. He’s been here all morning. All day. Junhong clenches his hair frantically. He knows it.  
Jonguppie is playing a cruel joke on him. Jongup was never good at jokes--they always came off weird. This is one of those times because there's no way what he's saying is true. No way.

Kneeling by the younger, Jongup grasps his hand. “He’s gone, Junhong.” There are other footsteps entering the apartment and Junhong is vaguely aware of the 3 other figures rushing in. Vaguely because he can still feel Yongguk's presence. This is all some sort of joke or nightmare or something, but it'll stop soon. 

“No!” Junhong screams, scampering away from the elder. “No. This isn’t funny, Jonguppie. I don’t like this joke.”

Jongup leans down, grabbing Junhong’s thin shoulders. “Junhong.“ He says softly, "Yongguk is gone. He died in a car crash. You were there. Come on, man. Don't fade on me.” He can faintly hear Himchan's voice trying to soothe his screams and Junhong's voice is hoarse again.

Junhong moves farther and farther away, clutching at his head, pulling at the curled blonde locks. It’s all a lie. Yongguk is here. His Yongguk is here. He knows it.

===  
\--  
“Come on, Junhongie. The walk signal is on,” says Yongguk, tugging on Junhong’s hand as they crossed the street. One hand raised to signal to the drivers he was crossing, Yongguk drags Junhong along.

Whining, Junhong breaks free from the grip. “Hyuuung, I’m not five. You can cross the street without raising your hand.” And just to prove his point, Junhong races to the other side, hand stubbornly by his side. Grinning, Junhong turns to face the elder standing in the middle of the street. “Come on, hyung! Live a little!”

Yongguk rolls his eyes and drops his arm to his side, jogging to the other side. He stops a few steps away. Perhaps even just two steps away, before grinning at Junhong and raising his hand again.

Junhong doesn’t even hear the car coming, but he hears the sickening crunch of bones breaking. Yongguk is still grinning at him when the car strikes him. Yongguk is still smiling when he lands several feet from the car. Junhong isn’t sure what to do. The car zooms past him and Junhong opens his mouth.

It isn’t until the paramedics arrive that he realizes he’s been screaming, his throat hoarse. Yongguk’s body lays on the street, spread eagle, still grinning for him. Junhong wants to vomit. He wants to look away. Yongguk is beautiful. The way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. The way his mouth curls cutely. But this Yongguk, this Yongguk is scary. He’s bloody and his body is mangled. His back is bent at an odd shape and there’s a dent in head.

Junhong only remembers them loading him on the stretcher and closing the bag over him. Dead on the scene. Smiling until the end.

\--  
Junhong stares up at Jongup. “I don’t want him to be gone, Jonguppie,” he whispers, voice still hoarse from the screams yesterday. The tears fall freely this time and Jongup sighs in relief. Junhong had been stoic since the accident. He wraps an arm around the boy.

“I don’t either, Junhongie. But he’s gone.”

Junhong stifles his sobs against his best friend’s chest, wanting to curl up and away from reality. Reality was horrible. He didn’t want any part of it. Jongup soothes his back, large warm hand appreciated against his thin body.

===  
Weeks later, Junhong sits atop Yongguk grave, pulling petals from the bouquet he bought. Junhong holds in his tears. He’s not a little boy anymore.

“I miss you,” he sighs, finally out of petals. 

It's the most odd feeling to have an emptiness in you. Junhong is certain that voids like this aren't normal. He doesn't tell Jongup though. He doesn't tell anyone. The only person he'd tell is dead and gone and Junhong can feel the emotions threatening to pool out of his throat. A warm presence sits on Junhong’s shoulders and he can feel the teardrops fall, but he brushes them away angrily. He isn’t a little boy anymore. He won't cry. 

"I really, really miss you."

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://sarangdongie.tumblr.com) | [twitter](http://twitter.com/jinkimon_)


End file.
